My Groin Hurts

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Yes, you read that right. My groin feels like it was rabbitpunched by a…well a rabbit I suppose. I don’t mean my _________________ (inserteuphemism for male genitalia here). I mean my actual groin muscle.
Why?
Because I’m a masochist. Not your average whips and chains amateurBS either. I get into real torture; stuff that leaves weaker men pale and sweatyin the corner singing “It’s a small world” over and over.
That’s right: I play intramural soccer.
I’m not sure what possesses me to subject myself to such humiliationand pain but I can only assume that I have some unresolved emotional baggagestemming from the heating vent connecting my bedroom to my parents’ bedroom inthe house I grew up in (I wish I was joking).    
You’re probably saying to yourself, “It can’t be that bad, right?”(The soccer, not the squeaky bed that haunted my youth.)
WRONG!!!
My team, which is composed of fellow grad students, is agood group. We have fun. Some of us are pretty good (not me) and some of ushaven’t played organized soccer since elementary school (me). Unfortunately,because we’re poor overburdened grad students (aka lazy) we signed up late andwe got put in the only slot left: the intramural equivalent of FIFA. That meanswe’re playing undergrads (5-12 years younger) that all played high schoolsoccer together and just missed getting a D1 scholarship.
Seriously, these kids are good. In our two games thus far we’velost by a cumulative score of 30-0 (or something like that, at some point nobodykeeps track). AND THEY’RE FAST. I can’t even take out my frustration by runningthem over ‘cause I can’t catch them!
The thing is: it’s fun. We have a good time. I’ll be outthere again next week, sore groin and all.
Wish me luck!