MSFV Drop the Needle Action Scene

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The amazing and wonderful Authoress over at Miss Snark's First Victim is hosting a "Drop the Needle" action scene critique today and yours truly is Entry #2. 

Go check it out!

I am stoked to have gotten in (the 25 open slots filled up in less than 1 minute) but also HORRIFIED to see TWO MISTAKES in the first two sentences.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?

I have no defense. I read the entry at least a dozen times before submitting it. I could blame the fact that in order to enter I sneaked out of my Plant Systematics lab and sat in the hallway with my laptop (true story) but that's just not gonna cut it. I got nothing.

For the record

• The first line should not have a comma.
• The second sentence should read, "Most of the mob gave him a wide berth until two men stepped into his path, clearly singling him out for trouble."

Anyway, try to forgive my...whatever is wrong with me...and head over to MSFV to check out the action scenes!