3 Ocak 2013 Perşembe

This week's New York Times Bestsellers (December 24th)

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In hardcover:

Jim Butcher's Cold Days is down eight spots, finishing the week at number 20. For more information about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

George R. R. Martin's A Dance With Dragons is down one spot, finishing the week at number 23. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

In paperback:

George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones is up five positions, ending the week at number 6.

David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas is up two positions, ending the week at number 6 (trade paperback).

Max Brooks' World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War is up four spots, finishing the week at number 7 (trade paperback).

Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game is up nine spots, finishing the week at number 8.

Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus maintains its position at number 14 (trade paperback).

Stephen King's 11/22/63 maintains its position at number 16 (trade paperback).

George R. R. Martin's A Storm of Swords is up six spots, finishing the week at number 17.

George R. R. Martin's A Feast for Crows is up four positions, ending the week at number 18.

George R. R. Martin's A Clash of Kings is up fourteen spots, finishing the week at number 19.

Stephen King's The Dark Tower: The Wind Through the Keyhole is down two positions, ending the week at number 21 (trade paperback).

Ernest Cline's Ready Player One returns at number 27.

Saladin Ahmed's THRONE OF THE CRESCENT MOON is out in paperback

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It's kind of weird to release a book on New Year's Eve, but I just wanted to spread the word that Saladin Ahmed's debut, Throne of the Crescent Moon, has just been released in mass market paperback. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Here's the blurb:

One of the year's most anticipated fantasy debuts, from a finalist for the Nebula and Campbell Awards.

The Crescent Moon Kingdoms, land of djenn and ghuls, holy warriors and heretics, Khalifs and killers, is at the boiling point of a power struggle between the iron-fisted Khalif and the mysterious master thief known as the Falcon Prince. In the midst of this brewing rebellion a series of brutal supernatural murders strikes at the heart of the Kingdoms.

Doctor Adoulla Makhslood, the last real ghul hunter in the great city of Dhamsawaat, just wants a quiet cup of tea. A fat old man who has grown weary of hunting monsters and saving lives, he's more than ready to retire from his dangerous vocation. But when an old flame's family is murdered, Adoulla is drawn back to the hunter's path.

Adoulla's young assistant Raseed, a hidebound holy warrior whose prowess is matched only by his piety, is eager to deliver God's justice. But even as Raseed's sword is tested by ghuls and manjackals, his soul is tested when he and Adoulla cross paths with the tribeswoman Zamia.

Zamia Badawi, Protector of the Band, has been gifted with the power of the Lion-Shape, but shunned by her people for daring to take up a man's title. She lives only to avenge her father's death. Until she learns that Adoulla and his allies also hunt her father's killer. Until she meets Raseed.

When they learn that the murders and the Falcon Prince's brewing revolution are connected, the companions must race against time - and struggle against their own misgivings - to save the life of a vicious despot. In so doing they discover a plot for the Throne of the Crescent Moon that threatens to turn Dhamsawaat, and the world itself, into a blood-soaked ruin.

I know some of you were reticent to pay the hardcover price for a relatively short work, so here's your chance to get your hands on it at a much more affordable price!

Win an Advance Reading Copy of Miles Cameron's THE RED KNIGHT

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I've been hearing a lot of good things about Miles Cameron's forthcoming The Red Knight. So much so that I'm giving away my ARC since I won't have time to read it before the finished copies go out. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Here's the blurb:

Twenty eight florins a month is a huge price to pay, for a man to stand between you and the Wild.

Twenty eight florins a month is nowhere near enough when a wyvern's jaws snap shut on your helmet in the hot stink of battle, and the beast starts to rip the head from your shoulders. But if standing and fighting is hard, leading a company of men - or worse, a company of mercenaries - against the smart, deadly creatures of the Wild is even harder.

It takes all the advantages of birth, training, and the luck of the devil to do it.

The Red Knight has all three, he has youth on his side, and he's determined to turn a profit. So when he hires his company out to protect an Abbess and her nunnery, it's just another job. The abby is rich, the nuns are pretty and the monster preying on them is nothing he can't deal with.

Only it's not just a job. It's going to be a war. . .

You can read an extract from The Red Knight here.

To learn more about the author and this series, check out Miles Cameron's official website.

The rules are the same as usual. You need to send an email at reviews@(no-spam)gryphonwood.net with the header "KNIGHT." Remember to remove the "no spam" thingy.

Second, your email must contain your full mailing address (that's snail mail!), otherwise your message will be deleted.

Lastly, multiple entries will disqualify whoever sends them. And please include your screen name and the message boards that you frequent using it, if you do hang out on a particular MB.

Good luck to all the participants!

The Hotties: 2012 Year-End Awards

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Okay, we may not be as prestigious or glamorous as the Hugo, the Nebula, or the World Fantasy Awards. . . But winning a Hottie still means something, right!?! :P

For the sake of posterity, I've also included my Top 10 SFF titles in this post.

Without further ado, here are the 2012 Hottie Awards!


Top 10 Speculative Fiction Titles of 2012

1- The Coldest War by Ian Tregillis (Canada, USA, Europe)
2- Kings of the Morning by Paul Kearney (Canada, USA, Europe)
3- Caliban's War by James S. A. Corey (Canada, USA, Europe)
4- Rapture by Kameron Hurley (Canada, USA, Europe)
5- The Straits of Galahesh by Bradley P. Beaulieu (Canada, USA, Europe)
6- Forge of Darkness by Steven Erikson (Canada, USA, Europe)
7- Shadow Ops: Control Point by Myke Cole (Canada, USA, Europe)
8- Red Country by Joe Abercrombie (Canada, USA, Europe)
9- King of Thorns by Mark Lawrence (Canada, USA, Europe)
10- The Dirty Streets of Heaven by Tad Williams (Canada, USA, Europe)

PUBLISHER OF THE YEAR AWARD

- Night Shade Books

With two titles in my Top 5 and plenty of quality SFF novels released in the last year or so, Night Shade Books have established themselves as one of the very best genre imprint in the world.

FAVORITE SFF BLOG

- The Wertzone

We may not always see eye to eye, yet Adam remains one of my most trusted sources when it comes to SFF books!

BEST SFF MESSAGE BOARD

- Westeros

Honorable mention: SFFWorld.com

Hands down, these two remain the most interesting and lively SFF message boards on the web! By far!


MOST AMBITIOUS PROJECT AWARD

- The Expanse, by James S. A. Corey

In terms of depth and scope, Caliban's War revealed that the plot was even more multilayered than we had ever thought.



MOST OVERRATED NOVEL AWARD

- Crucible of Gold by Naomi Novik

This used to be one of my favorite ongoing SFF series, but the last few installments were uninspired and lackluster efforts. Can't quite believe this book garnered so many positive reviews. . .


MOST UNDERRATED NOVEL AWARD

- The Night Sessions by Ken MacLeod

This science fiction novel came out a few years ago in the UK, and Pyr released it on this side of the pond this spring. It was another quality offering from Pyr and I can't believe that it feels as though I'm the only one who read it. Terrific novel!


BEST COVER ART AWARD

- The Dirty Streets of Heaven by Tad Williams (UK edition)

It hasn't been a memorable year in terms of great cover art. Although I haven't been able to find out who did this one, it's my favorite of 2012.


WORST COVER ART AWARD

- Captain Vorpatril's Alliance by Lois McMaster Bujold

Another Baen winner!


MOST PROMISING NEW VOICE AWARD

- Kameron Hurley

The Bel Dame Apocrypha is one of the very best science fiction series of the new millennium, if not the best. Hurley is definitely an author to keep an eye on.



COMEBACK OF THE YEAR AWARD

- Ian Tregillis

The author suffered so many setbacks that saw the pub date for The Coldest War being pushed back, again and again. Still, the second installment of the Milkweed Triptych was well worth the wait!


UNEXPECTED SURPRISE AWARD

- Legion by Brandon Sanderson

I never thought Sanderson would excel to such a degree at writing short fiction.


MOST DISAPPOINTING NOVEL AWARD

- Blood and Bone by Ian Cameron Esslemont

Though I haven't written my review yet, this was by far the weakest and most disappointing Malazan installment to date.



ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: BEST DEBUT

- Shadow Ops: Control Point by Myke Cole

As I said in my review, Shadow Ops: Control Point is a fun, intelligent, action-packed, entertaining read with a generous dose of ass-kicking! And I'm more than halfway through the sequel, Shadow Ops: Fortress Frontier and it's as good.

Looks like Myke Cole is for real!



MVP AWARD

- Paul Kearney

After being dropped by Bantam on both sides of the pond, Kearney was approached by Mark Newton to sign a new book deal with Solaris. Kings of the Morning is the conclusion of The Macht trilogy, Kearney's signature work.

Blood and Bone

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It's no secret around here that I'm a big Malazan fan. Although Ian Cameron Esslemont is no Steven Erikson, up until 2011 I had always enjoyed his novels. Each of them were, in my humble opinion, a worthy addition to the Malazan canon. Especially Stonewielder, which was Esslemont at his very best.

There were two Malazan installments from Esslemont scheduled to see the light in 2012. Malazan aficionados rejoiced, for with Erikson's Forge of Darkness we would get more than our usual Malazan fix. Trouble is, Esslemont's Orb, Sceptre, Throne, though it brought the entire Darujhistan story arc to a close, turned out to be sort of a letdown. The book had a great premise and engrossing concepts and ideas, but the poor execution precluded the tale from being as good as Return of the Crimson Guard or Stonewielder.

Hence, my expectations were lower than usual when Bantam announced the release of Ian Cameron Esslemont's Blood and Bone. Not only had Orb, Sceptre, Throne not met with widespread approval among the legions of Malazan fans, but this new Jacuruku book had never been planned in the original sequence of novels Esslemont was meant to produce. According to this interview and others that came after, beyond Night of Knives and Return of the Crimson Guard, Esslemont was supposed to write a book dedicated to the Korel campaigns (Stonewielder), a return to Darujhistan (Orb, Sceptre, Throne), and, finally, the mysteries of the Assail continent. There will also be an epilogue to The Malazan Book of the Fallen, which may well be split into two volumes. I'm not sure when and why it was decided to add a Jacuruku book to the sequence. But given its structure or lack thereof, for the most part Blood and Bone is a meandering sort of work without any sense of direction. And sadly, it is by far the weakest Malazan offering to date.

Here's the blurb:

In the western sky the bright emerald banner of the Visitor descends like a portent of annihilation. On the continent of Jacuruku, the Thaumaturgs have mounted another expedition in a bid to tame the neighbouring wild jungle. Yet this is no normal wilderness. It is called Himatan, and it is said to be half of the spirit-realm and half of the earth. And it is said to be ruled by a powerful entity who some name the Queen of Witches and some a goddess: the ancient Ardata.

Saeng grew up knowing only the rule of the magus Thaumaturgs – but it was the voices from that land's forgotten past that she listened to. And when her rulers launch their invasion of this jungle, those voices send her and her brother on a desperate mission.

To the south, the desert tribes are united by the arrival of a foreign warleader, a veteran commander in battered ashen mail men call the Grey Ghost. This warrior leads these tribes on a raid unlike any other, deep into the heart of Thaumaturg lands.

While word comes to K'azz, and mercenary company the Crimson Guard, of a contract in Jacuruku. And their employer? Could it be the goddess herself...

The worldbuilding has always been one of the key ingredients in every Malazan installment. And in this regard at least, Esslemont doesn't disappoint. Very little is known about the continent of Jacuruku. Hence, fans relished the idea of getting an opportunity to explore this mysterious corner of Wu. I feel that the author captured the Southeast Asian jungle setting to perfection in his depiction of the Himatan jungle. His descriptive narrative creates an imagery that makes you experience the jungle is if you were right there with the characters. This aspect of the book is absolutely brilliant. The last time I encountered such a genuine environment that basically leap off the pages was in Dan Simmons' The Terror. Unfortunately, too much effort was put into this, and the greater part of the novel has to do with random wanderings through the jungle. I mean, there is more walking around in this book than in J. R. R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring.

Unlike Orb, Sceptre, Throne, which had several fascinating concepts that somehow fell short due to subpar execution, Blood and Bone offers very little in terms of overall plot. The storylines, like the characters, appear to be drifting aimlessly, utterly directionless, lost in the jungle. It's a book that goes nowhere for nearly 400 pages, and the lackluster resolution at the end cannot even begin to save the day. The Thaumaturgs, supposedly powerful wizards, are depicted as a bunch of inept, almost caricatural dumbasses. The same can be said of the Adwami desert tribes. In virtually every facet but the jungle setting, Blood and Bone was an uninspired effort that fell quite short of the usual Malazan standard.

The characterization is by far the weakest aspect of this work. How the hell it could be that bad, I'll never know. Throughout Blood and Bone, one gets the feeling that one is reading a Forgotten Realms book. While the plotlines are uninvolving and lack any sense of direction, the protagonists are flat, generic, cardboard cutout characters. Protagonists such as Golan, Commander of the Army of Righteous Chastisement, and Prince Jatal make you long for well-drawn and three-dimensional characters that you can root for or hate powerfully. Whatever happened to the Avowed and Disavowed of the Crimson Guard? How unimpressive, boring, and pathetic have they all become in this novel. And the dialogue? Too often is the back-and-forth between the protagonists adolescent and puerile. I was so excited when I realized that men and women from both the Avowed and Disavowed would get POV "air time," but these portions were so disappointing. Shimmer, K'azz, Skinner, Mara, and everybody else are a world away from Iron Bars, Blues, and Fingers. And the interchangeable Malazan soldiers playing a key role in every book, as well as the likeable but not the sharpest tools in the shed Malazan mages; these plot devices have to go.

As was the case in Orb, Sceptre, Throne, the narrative is often disordered and can feel relatively incohesive at times. Too often, it felt as though Esslemont was making it up as he went along. In the past, readers have often overlooked Esslemont's occasional shortcomings, maintaining that he was "fleshing out" Erikson's storylines, providing answers and raising more questions. And yet, this is Esslemont's fifth novel and as an author he must stand on his own, even if he shares a universe with Erikson. No matter from what angle you look at it, regardless of the fact that Blood and Bone does provide a few answers and raises yet more questions, and regardless of the fact that it brings us ever closer to the eagerly anticipated Assail book, it remains a somewhat poor and unispired work that sadly doesn't deserve its place in the Malazan canon.

There is no way to sugarcoat it. The pace throughout the novel is atrocious. From start to finish, the plot keeps on drifting, directionless, without any sense of purpose. The poor characterization doesn't help, making Blood and Bone a chore to get through. Execution was once again an issue. Indeed, it's too easy to realize who the Warleader is, which robs one of the most important plotlines of the novel of its impact. Even worse, the long-awaited resolution of the Skinner storyline was so lackluster that it made me want to throw the book across my living room.

When I reviewed Stonewielder, I was foaming at the mouth at the thought of the Assail installment. This was Ian Cameron Esslemont at his peak. Now, with two consecutive Malazan offerings that failed to live up to the hype, I have my doubts. The Assail book, after all the foreshadowing and the expectations, will be to Esslemont what The Crippled God was to Erikson. With all the build-up, it can make or break him. And given how his last two novels failed to live up to the potential generated by Return of thee Crimson Guard and Stonewielder, I'm not sure anymore whether or not Esslemont can pull it off. Time will tell. . .

A major, major disappointment.

The final verdict: 6/10

For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

2 Ocak 2013 Çarşamba

Goin's On's

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This week I am over at Unicorn Bell posting about how we write culture into our stories.

Which sounds way more snobby then it really will be.

Mainly I'll be discussing the background noise that goes into the writing of a book. The 'stuff' the reader doesn't notice, but will if it's wrong.

I'll also be discussing the interesting phenomenon that happens along with this when readers bring their Own culture to your story. When they assume they know what the 'rules' are. But don't. I read a very quick snippet of an article on this in Writers Digest (I think) about how readers will Assume your world is male dominated, unless otherwise specified. How your readers will assume a pregnant woman has a husband, unless otherwise specified. How your readers will assume all sorts of things. It was rather interesting. And frustrating. And explained the old way of doing 'info dumps' at the beginning of fantasy and sci-fi books. Problem is. We don't do that now. So how do we get the rules of our worlds across without boring the pants off our readers?

Head over to Unicorn Bell! :) This is what we'll be exploring this week! Politics! Art! Religion! Weapons! All sorts of fun stuff.

Meanwhile...

WRiTE CLUB is still going on! Don't forget to head over there and vote! Vote! Vote!

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg Heffley's Journal - Jeff Kinney

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg Heffley's Journal - Kinney, Jeff

Summary: Greg records his sixth grade experiences in a middle school where he and his best friend, Rowley, undersized weaklings amid boys who need to shave twice daily, hope just to survive, but when Rowley grows more popular, Greg must take drastic measures to save their friendship.


Fabian's Review
The book is great. This book is a fun book to read. And it is a funny book and it is also a great book for kids that who really do not like to read. When you start reading this book, it is going to be kinda hard to put it down. I loved it.

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You're the One that I want - Cecily Von Ziegesar

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You're the One that I Want - Von Ziegesar, Cecily 
Summary: After an agonizing wait for college acceptance letters, Blair, Serena, Nate, and their classmates at elite Manhattan prep schools discover that their college choice depends a lot on relationships--old and new. 


Cecilia's Review It's spring on the Upper East Side and all the senior girls and boys are finding out which colleges accepted them. Serena van der Woodsen goes off to the schools that accepted her and falls in love with every school (tour guides included). Will she be able to make the right choice? Blair Waldorf has her eye on Yale and only Yale. Nate Archibald decides to test how bad each school wants them but, will that help him to choose the right school? Vanessa Abrams and Dan Humphrey decide to take a big step in their relationship by moving in together. Dan is debating whether or not to stay in New York for college. Dan's little sister, Jenny, idolizes Serena and pursues a modeling career. Decisions, decisions. Who knows if they will make the right ones. Most of the characters find spots at colleges or universities in the northeastern United States, conveniently within watch of the Gossip Girl, who will no doubt be reporting on them for many volumes to come. This series is quite addictive, and as the other Gossip Girl books, you wont be able to stop reading it. I definitely enjoyed reading this book. 
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Charlotte's Web - E.B. White

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Charlotte's Web - White, E.B. 
Summary: Wilbur, the pig, is desolate when he discovers that he is destined to be the farmer's Christmas dinner until his spider friend, Charlotte, decides to help him. 



Jinnee's Review A little piglet, Wilbur, was saved from a horrible fate by a little girl named Fern. When he's all grown up, his life was in danger again. He met a spider named Charlotte and she is trying to save Wilbur's life by using her web. I think this is a good book because you can learn about friendship, trust, love and how important they are. Interest readers need to understand how writers uses metaphor to express their message of the book. I loved it. 
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Lollipop and Grandpa's Back Garden Safari - Penelope Harper and illustrated by Cate James

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Summary:
Back gardens have never been this exciting! Lollipop and Grandpa are intrepid explorers, always on the lookout for the next adventure! It’s often just the two of them against the world in their expeditions, armed only with ham sandwiches and imagination. In this book they set out on an exciting expedition in the back garden where they encounter Chimpan-trees, a Hippo-potta-compost and even a Croco-logus. They’re prepared for action, but will Lollipop and Grandpa make it back home safely?~~~

I was given this book a little while ago and I completely fell in love with it. The story is charming, imaginative and heart-warming. It's great for kids who want to have some adventures in their garden or in the park - instead of a boring patch of grass, they can discover a world full of danger and scary creatures like the Chimpan-trees or the Croco-logus. Any corner of the garden can transform into a scary creature and there really isn't a peaceful place to eat ham sandwiches!
The illustrations by Edinburgh-based illustrator Cate James are simply fantastic. They're very stylish and evocative and play on textures as well as colour. The font is really easy to read and Penelope Harper's story is well-paced, funny and an amazing springboard for children's imagination. 
This is an adorable book for grandparents to read to their own little explorers and this is the start of an amazing picture book series about Lollipop's adventures with her Grandpa. Thumbs up from me!

Lollipop and Grandpa's Back Garden Safari, by Penelope Harper and illustrated by Cate James | 2012 | Phoenix Books | Age 3 to 5 | Gift

1 Ocak 2013 Salı

19 Books I'm Looking Forward to in 2012

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This is the fifth time I've attempted to put together a list of the books I am most looking forward to in the coming year.  I'm a little bit late on this one, but here you go. 

This is the first year I’ve posted one of these lists without including either a Wheel of Time novel or a George R. R. Martin book. Of course, the only reason for this is that A Memory of Light was pushed back from November 2012 to January 2013. But there it is. On the plus side, we’ve still got some Scott Lynch to look forward to. Maybe. 

More or less in order.  Sort of.

1. Republic of Thieves, by Scott Lynch: Oh, Gentleman Bastards, how I would like to read more of you. And yet, my real desire is for Scott Lynch’s health and well being. Take care of yourself, Scott. The book will come when it does.

2. Caine’s Law, by Matthew Stover (April): How in the world did I not know this was coming until just now? It’s a new Caine novel! You know, Heroes Die, Blade of Tyshalle, and Caine Black Knife. asskicking awesome fantasy/ sci-fi blend. The usual stuff that you simply must read.

3. Range of Ghosts, by Elizabeth Bear (March): New Fantasy Series. Elizabeth Bear. I am there.

4. Touchstone, by Melanie Rawn (February): I have such high hopes for this book. Rawn is the author of the excellent Dragon Prince and Dragon Star trilogies, but after beginning (and not finishing) her Exiles trilogy, Rawn took a long time off (for a very good reason), but returned to write two books in a now cancelled paranormal romance series. This (along with last year’s Golden Key prequel) marks her return to a more traditional epic fantasy series. Can’t wait!

5. The Coldest War, by Ian Tregillis (July): It’s about time that Tor got their stuff together and finally published this second volume of the Milkweed Triptych. Bitter Seeds was an excellent debut and The Coldest War had been on the shelf for waaaay too long.

6. Redshirts, by John Scalzi (June): New Scalzi.

7. Kitty Steals the Show, by Carrie Vaughn (August): Compulsively readable, Vaughn’s Kitty Norville novels are the ultimate summer crack. This is the 10th Kitty novel and Vaughn shows no sign of losing steam.

8. Arctic Rising, by Tobias Buckell (February): I’ve long been a fan of Buckell’s Xenowealth sequence and while he’s taken off quite a bit of time from that, here he delivers a near future climate-change novel.

9. Existence, by David Brin (July): New Brin! This sounds like it has touches of what made Earth such a cool and prescient novel.

10. ad eternum, by Elizabeth Bear (March): This is, presumably, the final Abby Irene novella from Bear.  I shall miss them.

11. Glamour in Glass, by Mary Robinette Kowal (April): It’s a mark of Kowal’s skill that I’m looking forward to the sequel to a book that could reasonably be pitched as “Jane Austen with magic”.

12. Wake of the Bloody Angel, by Alex Bledsoe (July): New Eddie LaCrosse novel.

13. Red Country, by Joe Abercrombie (November):Another tale told in the world of The First Law. All I really ask for is for some face-in-the-mud unpleasantness and battles as told with the evil snark of Joe Abercrombie. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t think that it is.

14. Inexplicable, by Cherie Priest (Fall): The fourth Clockwork Century novel. I need to read Ganymede, but more Cherie Priest is always a good thing.

15. Lowball, by George R. R. Martin (editor): I still need to catch up on Fort Freak and Books 9 – 17, but a new Wild Cards volume is a happy day for me.

16. Eclipse Five, by Jonathan Strahan (May): Strahan’s name on an anthology is enough to make me take a second look, but his Eclipse volumes are an automatic purchase. It’s a fantastic original anthology series and what I like best is that it’s unthemed.

17. Boneyards, by Kristine Kathryn Rusch (January): I loved Diving into the Wreck and then somehow managed to not read City of Ruins (the sequel). Here is book three. I’d better get cracking.

18. Devils’s Wake, by Steven Barnes and Tananarive Due: It’s an apocalyptic novel with aliens. And zombies, of sorts. I’m down with that.

19. After the Fall, Before the Fall, During the Fall, by Nancy Kress (April): I tend to enjoy what Nancy Kress writes and here you’ve got some interesting combination of a post apocalyptic world, aliens, and time travel.

I could probably make another list or three of all the books I'm looking forward to.  Here, I've mostly stuck with the SFF genre.  Step outside of the genre, and the list will grow exponentially.

So.  What do YOU want to read this year?

Thunderstorms a'brewin'

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Oh the audacity! The Nerve! I can't even...*splutter* ...it's....humph...

*Rant ahead*

Not much gets under my skin more then people who bully. People who assume their situation is the only space in the universe that matters. I know I don't usually (ever) talk about my job here...but I had a very frustrating phone call happen the other day and I needed to clear the air.

First of all. Is it even conceivable, in this, for lack of a better term, Day and Age, that someone NOT have access to a computer with internet capability? Seriously? If all else fails, the Library? But I get ahead of myself.

There was a "person of interest" quick article of me, in a local here. :) Just a quick bit. On the last page the story gave my contact info for my business. (This is important, trust me.) My phone number, email, and webpage. All good information to have! Yay!

I get a phone call, while I'm driving, from a woman who wanted information about the type of massage I do. Easy enough. She had read the article but couldn't find the FIRST PAGE of the article. The Second page was where all the contact information was so I told her about the webpage. She interrupts me and says very annoyed that she won't be going on to a computer to get any information about my business. Not that she doesn't have access but almost like she won't be bothered. Then she asks me to send her information about my business to her through the mail.  Um, ok? Now I'm confused a bit. So I told her I was driving and could I please call her back in a bit. Sure no problem. She was fine with that.

A couple of hours later, in the midst of a big thunderstorm, which I didn't think anything about, I tried calling her back.

Call 1: Her: Hello!! Yes! Do you have a piece of paper you can write on?
Me: (I'm catching about every other word of this...) I'm sorry you're breaking up...Did you say you needed information on the type of massage I do? (I'm thinking I can just simply answer her questions over the phone...)
Her: Yes! You need to mail it to me!
Me: I need to...
Disconnected

Call 2: Her: Hello? Hello! Yes you need to write my address down. I need you to send me information about your business.
Me: I can just answer your...
Disconnected

Call 3: Me: Are you on a cell phone?
Her: I don't understand why you keep hanging up on me. Do you have a pen and paper there to take down my address?
Me: *Sigh* Sure. Go ahead.
Her: It...Disconnected.

At this point I thought maybe it was my phone so I called my mother in law had a great perfectly crystal clear conversation with her for about 5 minutes . Then put my big girl panties on and called this...person...back.

Call 4: Her: Yes. I'm sorry this is NOT a good time for ME right now. And Obviously you are having a really hard time taking my information down so...good by. *Hang up*.

I had a really REALLY hard time not calling her right back and saying something not very pleasant to this woman.

Oi. People. Sometimes. Sometimes it's just a thunderstorm, you know?

Goin's On's

To contact us Click HERE
This week I am over at Unicorn Bell posting about how we write culture into our stories.

Which sounds way more snobby then it really will be.

Mainly I'll be discussing the background noise that goes into the writing of a book. The 'stuff' the reader doesn't notice, but will if it's wrong.

I'll also be discussing the interesting phenomenon that happens along with this when readers bring their Own culture to your story. When they assume they know what the 'rules' are. But don't. I read a very quick snippet of an article on this in Writers Digest (I think) about how readers will Assume your world is male dominated, unless otherwise specified. How your readers will assume a pregnant woman has a husband, unless otherwise specified. How your readers will assume all sorts of things. It was rather interesting. And frustrating. And explained the old way of doing 'info dumps' at the beginning of fantasy and sci-fi books. Problem is. We don't do that now. So how do we get the rules of our worlds across without boring the pants off our readers?

Head over to Unicorn Bell! :) This is what we'll be exploring this week! Politics! Art! Religion! Weapons! All sorts of fun stuff.

Meanwhile...

WRiTE CLUB is still going on! Don't forget to head over there and vote! Vote! Vote!

Kitty's Big Trouble by Carrie Vaughn (audio)

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I finished listening to this yesterday. I actually had only a little bit left to go and just hadn't turned it on to listen to in a while. And that was my biggest problem with the book, which was totally my problem and nothing to do with the book itself: I spread out the listening over too long a period of time. So I know that I enjoyed the book but I don't remember a lot of what happened at the beginning and I didn't really get into the rhythm of the story. It's probably one I'll need to read/listen to again to make sure I caught everything. Hence my very vague post here about it!

Lollipop and Grandpa's Back Garden Safari - Penelope Harper and illustrated by Cate James

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Summary:
Back gardens have never been this exciting! Lollipop and Grandpa are intrepid explorers, always on the lookout for the next adventure! It’s often just the two of them against the world in their expeditions, armed only with ham sandwiches and imagination. In this book they set out on an exciting expedition in the back garden where they encounter Chimpan-trees, a Hippo-potta-compost and even a Croco-logus. They’re prepared for action, but will Lollipop and Grandpa make it back home safely?~~~

I was given this book a little while ago and I completely fell in love with it. The story is charming, imaginative and heart-warming. It's great for kids who want to have some adventures in their garden or in the park - instead of a boring patch of grass, they can discover a world full of danger and scary creatures like the Chimpan-trees or the Croco-logus. Any corner of the garden can transform into a scary creature and there really isn't a peaceful place to eat ham sandwiches!
The illustrations by Edinburgh-based illustrator Cate James are simply fantastic. They're very stylish and evocative and play on textures as well as colour. The font is really easy to read and Penelope Harper's story is well-paced, funny and an amazing springboard for children's imagination. 
This is an adorable book for grandparents to read to their own little explorers and this is the start of an amazing picture book series about Lollipop's adventures with her Grandpa. Thumbs up from me!

Lollipop and Grandpa's Back Garden Safari, by Penelope Harper and illustrated by Cate James | 2012 | Phoenix Books | Age 3 to 5 | Gift